I used to cut photos out of magazines and tape them all together creating pages of families for my pretend family album. I had pages and pages of families and had a story in my head for every single one. There were families with 2 kids, families with single moms, families with adopted children; I even labeled them all with a name and an age. At the time I was just having fun and wasting time, but I see now that this was another hint that should have pointed me in the direction of my correct career path. I remember I would spend hours sifting through magazines searching for the perfect Moms to go with the Dads and the perfect kids to complete their family. I would pick names and use my imagination to create a story for their lives together. It sounds so silly but I loved browsing through the pages I created and showing them off to everyone willing to look. Of course I had my favorite family, the one I would imagine someday being my own… and it included you, Alayna. (only your name was Nicole, but I called you Nicki :)
When I look at you now, I know you were given to us as a gift from God. You were carefully thought out, hand crafted and custom made to fit PERFECTLY into our family. Some girls plan for years how perfect their wedding will be. Every little detail, imagining it over and over again in their head hoping one day their fairytale will come true. Not me. I skipped right over that fine detail and began planning how wonderful my “one day” daughter would be.
2 years ago today, my wish came true.
You are everything I ever wanted. Everything I imagined you would be and more. I always wanted a little girl with strawberry blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes. She would be small like me, but what she lacked in size, she would make up in spirit. She would be sweet and caring, but confident and fearless. She would love to be close to the people that mean so much to her, but she would be independent and strong. She would have a smile that was infectious and a face that could not go unmentioned. She’d be girly, couldn’t get enough of her baby dolls and fingernail polish, but could hold her own in a game with the boys.
She would be the important piece missing.
The moment I saw your face, I was in love. I know every mother says this, but it really was true. The doctor held your tiny little face over the drape and my heart suddenly melted. Tears swelled up in my eyes and I was reminded in that very second that there has to be a God and he has granted my lifelong wish… my perfect daughter. And you have been exactly that, my perfect little dream come true.
In the past 2 years you have gone from our precious tiny peanut to our sweet little spitfire. Every day I get that same feeling of pure love when I look at you. I can’t get enough of your hugs, kisses and snuggles. I could stare at you all day with a smile on face. You are exactly what I imagined and hoped you would be. Even the little Scorpio attitude you have is part of the plan. You match the profile completely and I can’t imagine what life would be like without you. I feel so blessed, thank you for making my life so special.
Happy 2nd Birthday Alayna Bana! I love you with all my heart.